"Moon river, wider than a mile. I'm crossing you in style. Someday" 

I pray I reach that someday, wherever that river may take me. I'm approaching another year old, and I look at fragments of memories, and all I see are beginning without endings. Meetings without closure. I'm tired of being poignant. I know there are good days and bad days. Some days are just terrible than the others. 

I remember the "mean reds" as holly coined it. You're scared, your sad and yet you just never know when it'll all end. I'm satisfied with where I am right now, Somedays, when I see how well things are going, I feel invincible. I feel strong enough to stand on my own. But during the blues, I feel the ache of being alone. 

If there's one thing I learned in the years that have gone by, it's the fact that people can't simply enter and leave some other people's lives simply because they deem it best for them. The excruciating process of getting to know people, caring for them and then trying to cope with their departure, it's all a pain. Sometimes I wish we could all do away with this. Sometimes I wish we could be "loneliness" 'for the time being. To be given the power to enter and leave at the snap of the finger. But that's the thing, we aren't loneliness. We can but feel loneliness. 

I know I'll reach the end of my moon river, I just pray that I'm granted the patience to continue rowing till I cross that river. Maybe a companion to help me row till the finish perhaps. I don't know, but I'll get there someday.